Thursday, January 5, 2012

Reflecting Back

It has been more than three years since we met and said goodbye to our dear little Isaac. It has also been about that long since I made a post to this blog. In those years, I am encouraged that God continues to use Isaac's life and our faith in Jesus to bless and comfort other moms and dads going through similar pain. I wanted to post a portion of a letter that I wrote to Isaac in the days following his death in hopes that it might be an encouragement to anyone stumbling across his blog.

Many people say that "time heals all wounds." That might be true for some people in some cases but what I have found to be true in every circumstance for every person who believes in Him is that the God who created time heals all wounds. The Father of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, glorious Yahweh has certainly healed my heart and brought me great comfort in the past three years; not only by blessing us with two more children, but more importantly by constantly reminding me of His unfailing love for me which He showed most significantly in sending His Son, Jesus, to be my substitute, to live a perfect life and die a sinners death so that I could be forgiven of my rebellious life and enjoy eternity with Him. I still look forward, not only to Christ's impending return, but to that glorious day when I will look upon Him and see my son, Isaac as well. While it has been and will be a long goodbye to Isaac, I rejoice in the hope that it is not a forever one. I pray this blog blesses you but more importantly, that the God in whom I hope blesses you with an intimate knowledge of Him.

Here is a reposting of a letter I posted on the third anniversary of Isaac's death, November 10, 2011, on another blog I operate.

"Today I am surprisingly grateful. I say surprising because today marks the third anniversary of my son’s passing. He was four minutes old and we loved him dearly, and love him still. In the years that have passed, God has blessed us with two more little ones. I am not bitter today, but hopeful and in awe of the love of God. Only He can cause this gratitude. 

I am so thankful as I think back over how He poured out His love and grace upon us daily through His Word and Spirit. I am moved to tears as I consider the kindness that so many dear friends showed in grieving with us, bringing us meals, cleaning our home, attending the memorial service, helping our family be with us and praying for us. We are thankful for you still. 

Often when it comes to writing, something old is better than something new. In that spirit, I want to share a few excerpts from a letter I wrote to our son three years ago.

“My Sweet Son,

Yesterday was your birthday. You came into the world with a bang. The same midwife that delivered your sister delivered you. It was such a joy to meet you face to face. However, our joy quickly turned to despair when you died a few minutes after you were born - officially at 6:36 a.m. - you were outside of me just long enough to get a birth certificate. But as you may know better than us, your birth and death was ordained by Jesus Christ before time began. 

As psalm 139 says “He formed your inward parts in my womb; He skillfully wrought you together and in His book were all written the days ordained for you when as yet there was not one of them.” It seemed chaotic to us but God was in control the whole time, working out what He had purposed before time began.

You are a gift, a reward and very dear blessing from the Lord....Your life may have been amazingly short by human standards but your impact has been and will be great. God has used you, and I have no doubt, will continue to use you to bring glory to Himself here. Many have heard the gospel. Many believers have been encouraged, strengthened and comforted as they walk through this pain of losing you with us.

I will never forget you.
    I will always love you. 
        There will forever be a place for you engraved upon my             

While my memories of what you felt like - the softness of your black hair, your warm, smooth skin and tiny fingers wrapped around my thumb will fade over time, my love for you will not. You have made heaven all the sweeter and my treasure even greater there. 

Son, I doubt a day will go by when I don’t think of you and smile. Until I too become absent from body and present with our Lord, I will know that my toil over losing you is not in vain and I will look forward expectantly to seeing you and embracing you again.

I love you,